You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
