I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
