I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
