You work out of a Hotel?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
