she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I need a beard to bite.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
