I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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