dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
