I was born with a shot glass in my hand
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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