I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
When are your genitals available?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
