there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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