this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Sext me about skeletons
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
