And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
