no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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