he told me I talked like a deaf person
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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