she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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