my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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