id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
