Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
