Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
