That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
