Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
