maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
