I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
