The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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