why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
