Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
