you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
