Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
