My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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