I love black thongs
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
