can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
