dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
