well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
