is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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