i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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