white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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