there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
