I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
