And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Dick very happy bro
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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