you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
