i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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