this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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