Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
