If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
