I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
