i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
