I will die if light touches me.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
