As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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