I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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