my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
