why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
